TRIBUTE TO A LOVED ONE

I remember that day so vividly… I just came back from school having spent nine straight hours on the road from Abuja to Lagos… Everywhere was dusty and my mum was looking like the shadow of herself. My instincts told me something was wrong because the house was never out of shape. Mum is a perfectionist and that means that everything must be glittering and sparkling clean. So what’s wrong? I asked myself… Where did the usual warmth that greets me when I come home go to? As I greeted my mother, I noticed she looked older than her age, she seemed stressed and worn out. The usual glint of excitement that circled her eyes was nowhere to be found! I asked about everybody
from her and she answered oddly. Then, she drew me close and told me to be strong, she told me “the Lord giveth and taketh”, my brain couldn’t comprehend what she was saying but I knew I had to listen because she was trying so hard not to break into tears. Then she said… “Esther, Christy is dead” and at that moment, I could see streams of tears flowing from her eyes. I was motionless and speechless and at that point, I knew I had to be strong for a woman who did everything humanly possible to save my sister from the harsh claws of death. Like a zombie, I walked into my room to pray, and something within me opened, I cried like never before. Torrents and torrents it came, flowing down my eyes, messing up my dress. Silently, I screamed till I could scream no more! Why do bad things happen to good people? After struggling for years! We prayed, we fasted, we did all we could but alas, she went, like a puff of smoke. I couldn’t help but question God because I needed answers… I just couldn’t fathom how a God would say He loves me, yet takes away one of the best things that has ever happened to me after my mother. She was my teacher, my second mother, my friend, my mentor…

That was 19th January, 2010. And today makes it five years since that incident. How do you stop mourning the death of someone who was everything to you? Like a burden, I carried the reality of her death in my head. But with time, I began to understand life and the way it operates… She taught me to be more courteous. You can never receive anything from Sis Christy without using words like “please”, “sorry”, “thank you ma”. She directed my path to God, always telling me to give my all to God. She taught me to study hard and be the best. She taught me to be better than my yesterday. She taught me how to change sanitary pads and how to dispose them. She taught me how to cook, God knows I hated cooking then, but in her typical tough love style, she made sure I knew everything as regards cooking. She told me how beautiful I was. Growing up, I didn’t have the best of physical features like I do now but even as raw and unrefined as they were, Sis Christy would look me in the eye and tell me “eeh, Esther, my beautiful sister, shey you know you are very beautiful and intelligent? Do you know why I am telling you? I am telling you because I don’t want those guys to sweet talk you and play on your ignorance. If they ask you do you know you are beautiful? tell them you know, that your elder sister tells you every day”. I must confess that that is one of the best things you have ever done for me. Right from a tender age, I had a great self-esteem and self-confidence simply because I had you! I was never intimidated by peoples’ intelligence, money or beauty because you built in me a unique feature that allowed me to believe in myself and the potentials God have deposited on my inside.

Well, Sis Christy, I am still less than twenty five and I am through with school. I graduated as one of the best students in my department. I am now a professional makeup artist; I do trainings everywhere and I blog! I guess I got great writing skills from you and dad. You inspired me with your eloquence and fluency and I am sure you would be glad to read my write ups. I am improving daily sis, breaking new grounds and expanding my horizon. You remember when I was the head girl of my secondary school and I got really frustrated about leadership? Well, true to your words, it was just a training ground for me, I am a better leader now, and I have great interpersonal, communication skills. My spiritual level is consistently getting higher so don’t be surprised if the Heavenly Dallies publishes my name as the Special Adviser on Spiritual Matters to the Presidency. I miss your smile, long curly hair, pink lips and gap tooth. Hmmm, if you see me now eehen, I don turn hot cake ooo. I am so beautiful! But on a more serious note, I want to use this medium to say I miss you and since your demise, I have been able to counsel others on how to cope with grief. I love you and in celebration of your life and death, I want to teach my teeming audience on six valuable truths I have learnt in the course of your mentorship ‘classes’ and as a result of your death.

1. APPRECIATE PEOPLE: Appreciate people when they are still alive. Don’t wait till people die before you celebrate and appreciate them. You are seeing them today doesn’t mean you are seeing them tomorrow. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish anybody evil but anything can happen that would take out of your present environment into some place better and you wouldn’t have the luxury of seeing these people like you once did.
Why do you think I established this blog? Do you think it’s because everyone is blogging and I want to join the train? No! I established this blog because there are lots of individuals who are meant to be celebrated and appreciated. Through this blog, I celebrate your creativity, I celebrate your passion, I celebrate your integrity and good works.
You can also celebrate those around you. Yes, you, I mean you reading this post. Don’t wait till it’s your friend’s birthday before you celebrate him or her. Celebrate and appreciate your subordinates, wife and children. Help them when the need arises. Appreciate the efforts of those that love you. Don’t take it for granted because like a puff of smoke, they are gone, gone for life.

2. SHOW LOVE: One of my greatest consolations lies in the fact that my sister died knowing I loved her with everything. Stop acting like Adolf Hilter and show some love, show that you truly care. Say these words “I love you” more often and mean them. Stop taking people for granted. It’s crazy when I see two sisters fighting. I shake my head in pity because they simply don’t understand the meaning of family. Stop the fights, you are bigger than that. Spend quality time with those you love. Let go of the ego and let love reign because like the puff of smoke, they can be gone, gone forever.

3. BE COURTEOUS: Most of us don’t know how to talk or act. Work on yourself. The fact that you are raw doesn’t mean you should remain raw, you can be an finished product if you choose to work towards it. I hate it when people tell me this is how I have always been. Hell no! You chose to be like that and you can as well choose the better path.

4. MAKE JESUS YOUR WORLD: I will most likely publish a subsequent post that further buttresses this point. But the bottom line is this, a life without Christ, is a life of crisis. You need him more than you ever imagine because like the puff of smoke, you would be gone, gone forever to meet your Maker.

5. LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST: There should be nothing like the ‘best day of your day’. Enjoy the good things of this world in a way that pleases God. Enjoy the beauty of nature, the joy of success, the warmth of family, the love of God, the goodness of growth and so on. Celebrate yourself, you deserve it. Do you know that a lot of persons had plans for this day ahead of today but they are no more because death had a ‘ better’ idea. Your being alive is enough reason to thank God. Thank God for your present circumstance. In case you don’t know, your present circumstance is another person’s prayer point. While you fervently pray to finish school, some of your age mates are crying to God for admission to higher institution. So you see, there is always a reason to thank God. Don’t get so carried away by the worries of the things yet undone that you forget how far you have come and have been victorious. Keep the faith going, keep pressing on and more importantly, remain grateful.

6. LIVE A LIFE OF IMPACT: It doesn’t really matter how long you live, what matters is how well you have fulfilled purpose within the years you have lived. Of what use is your life if people only wish you dead? Make something meaningful out of your life. Grow up, wake up from your dreams and act. Stop living your life in isolation, mix with people. Teach and encourage when you can and more importantly, be teachable. The question is what would you be remembered for? How well have you contributed to the positive growth and development of your family, community, country and the world at large? When was the last time you won a soul to the kingdom of God? You need to live a life with the fulfillment of purpose as a drive. Because like the puff of smoke, you will be gone, gone forever.

P.S: Dear Sis Christy, I look forward to seeing you at the other end of eternity. I love you and I will always make you proud.

Signed: BAMILOSHIN ESTHER (for the family) TWG HUB