MARRIED IN SCHOOL BUT SINGLE AT HOME

Welcome to Nigerian campuses where little girls are practicing 'wifely functions'! Just visit the boys' hostels and you would be disappointed to find out that it is now common for a girl to live in with a course mate. It is now common for her lover to give her the popular compliment 'you look sexy my gal' and she would gladly reply 'thank you honey' with a flirty voice and a romantic smile. Who is her lover? A 300 level student whose CGPA is barely up to 1.78! And they are aiming for the next best couple award for the session by the departmental association.

So, the girl needs to live with him to prepare along. What nonsense! It seems that some girls suddenly lose their senses immediately they gain admission. I've seen that some of them have no more sense of caution, honour and dignity. They would change their wardrobes and acquire new sets of make-up just to look 'campussy' and sexy enough for the guys. In months, they would start sleeping around with little boys. I mean boys who collect pocket money from their uncles! Dirty boys who most of the time are infected with sexually transmitted diseases. Hey! I want you to know that you were sent to school to obtain a degree not a disease. The campus is called a school; school not sex! You are on campus to receive education not ejaculation. You are here to master the use of a pen not the pleasures of a penis. Wake up girl! Do some thinking. Your future is greater than the 'best couple award'. You cook for a boy you are more intelligent than. You give your virginity to a boy who will definitely leave you after graduation. You play wife to a boy who cannot even care for himself.

Oh, you have given too much. Enough! Open your eyes! Can't you see you're being foolish? You are passing through the fears of unwanted pregnancies yet you are opening your legs to a coward who cannot stand before your father. And when you eventually get pregnant, he would brutally advise you to abort it and you would timidly agree; then face the consequences later.

What a shame! You may master the use of condoms but you can't master the punishment of your conscience. Don't you know you are bringing shame to your family? Don't you know that you are cursing your mother by accepting to sleep with a boy (not even a man) without her consent? I cautioned a girl against sleeping around and she replied 'Sheddy, I don't sleep around; it's only one boyfriend I have and I am faithful to him'. What impunity! That's classified harlotry. And don't you know that sleeping with a man without your father's blessings is bringing a curse to your future? What happened to your cultural values? Somewhere in your heart you know he would use you and dump you; so why are you setting up yourself for a heartbreak?

I want to remind you that you are a lady and one day you may get married. And your husband would know that you are one who sleeps with anything on trousers. The greatest gift a lady would give to her husband on the wedding night is her virginity unless she lost it out of rape and not as a result of gunning for the certificate of best couple of the year on campus!

The other gifts for the rest of her life are her care and character not her curves and complexion! Real men know this, so, get it screwed in! Those treacherous boys would call you 'sexy' and you would answer? Oh, sorry! They touch your breast and you would smile? They would ask you out and you would sheepishly oblige? Oh, you are indeed a mistake. I'm not saying that you should be rude or never live a 'social life' but I want you to think deeper than you are currently doing. I want to turn your attention back to your books.

You are not in school for breast exhibition. So, pay less attention to those boobs and give more attention to your books! You are not in school for cat-walking show. You are rather here to show us the dignity of womanhood. You are here to prove to us that you are costly. So, why make yourself so cheap?

I am writing this with both love and pain in my heart and that's why am sounding stern. I know about two girls now that have been living with their respective boyfriends since year one and as it is now they can't even even count how many abortions they had for these boys (school bae). It's has become a normal thing for them, the last one one of them did, almost took her life and that made her bleed for 4 months! Imagine how you do feel with ordinary 4 days of menstruation left alone living with it for months. As a matter of fact one of them has damaged her fallopian tube due to excessive intake of contraceptives she has taken to prevent pregnancy.

I want you to look beyond now and think of what advice you would give your own daughter when you become a mother. I hope I have not offended you...if I have, please just understand my point of view.

To the decent girls I have seen on campus, do not be swayed by this evil. Be consistent and keep celebrating your purity. I am always proud of you. And God is more proud of you.
Please share this message with all your friends on
campus and those going for service with NYSC.

Written by Uliene Ehis Kingsley TWGHUB

SAY NO TO DRUG ABUSE!

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I attended a service recently and the person on the pulpit was talking about drug abuse and how it is damaging lives and sending people to hell. The sad thing about the things he said was that most of the people engaged in drugs and alcohol are children, teenagers and young adults who were lured into it by virtue of wrong association which includes, but are not limited to uncles, aunts, gate man, ice cream vendors, classmates etc.

10 THINGS YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE YOU ARE THIRTY

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The first three decades of your life are really important because it has a large capacity to define how the next 30 years of your life will turn out to be. It determines to a large extent if you will be happy or sad in the later part of your life because these years are years where you get to make crucial decisions that will shape the course of your destiny.

In case you are past the age of thirty, below are 10 things you ought to have done or you are long over due to do and if you are still below thirty then these are 10 things you MUST endeavour to achieve before you are thirty. They are written in no particular order so just highlight the ones you have not yet achieved and endeavour to achieve them.

People Matter

The theme of the cross over service in my church, The Father's House Church was 'People Matter' and as the preacher kept on preaching, it dawned on me that indeed people matter. Man was not created to live as though he is the only one existing instead man was created to relate with other people and recreate the world through the joy each individual brings.

The world has succeeded in making man think that he lives for himself and whatever he does is of no significance to the people around him. He has been so brainwashed into thinking that life is all about 'me' and 'me alone'. As an individual, you matter to yourself and you are the fist priority of yourself but that does not mean that other people don't count.

UNFORGETABLE LESSON FROM THE KITCHEN

I was in the kitchen today and I was filling the bottles with water from the tap. I opened two different but similar bottles and filled them with water, mistakenly, I switched the plastic caps. The first one covered well, but the second bottle covered with resistance and difficulty. I turned the second plastic bottle sideways and surely it was leaking because the cap wasn't right for it. Immediately, I switched caps, putting the right cap where it belongs and voila! Both bottles were airtight and firm. At that moment, a thought crossed my mind....This is how relationships ought to be! AIRTIGHT AND FIRM.

THE DESIRED FUTURE

As I looked at this picture,  I remembered when I was a lot younger, those times when the wings of puberty were just growing. I was far from beautiful as in, I was not just in the category of girls you will call beautiful.  I was very short, with pimples decorating my face like stones on sand. I remember that people only said I was pretty to console me. I was really far from beautiful, my lips were bigger than my face and i just didn't seem to get things right. 

A POEM

I have come to realise that people only celebrate a successful person, and they do all in their power to bring down those that are just starting, but we owe ourselves the responsibilty of believing in ourselves when no one believes in us. While we are on the journey, we should learn to appreciate ourselves and strive to be better than our past. I wrote this poem when I couldn't find my muse because someone looked me in the face and literally threw a dagger at my heart with his negative words and disbelief in my creativity. But I have made a pact with destiny that every new day's writing

A WORLD OF FEAR

I have every reason to fear,
This I tell myself everyday,
Who wouldn’t fear,
When negativity is the order of the day.

But the more I feared,